A Dipper Full of Love

As a military family, we are no strangers to being separated from each other.  In fact, of Chelsea's eighteen birthdays, Mike has missed eight of them due to deployments and trainings.  That can be hard on a kid, and hard on a dad.  Chelsea and Mike have always had an exceptionally close relationship.  They have such similar personalities that he has historically been the person she goes to for advice on a variety of topics.

While Micah and I always looked forward to phone calls from Mike when he was gone, Chelsea just couldn't do them.  It wasn't that she didn't miss her Daddy, or that she didn't want to talk to him, it's that hearing his voice and not being able to see him was just too much grief, too much missing, too much everything.  Mike had to figure out other ways to connect with Chelsea during deployments.  They'd write letters to each other, and she'd send him pictures of their favorite things.  When she was older, they'd email each other and/or send messages via social media. 

Eight years ago, before a deployment, we got a children's book about a little boy who's dad was going to Iraq.  The father and son decided they would play catch each night with the north star, giving them a chance to feel connected before bedtime each night.  This gave Mike an idea.  He took Chelsea and Micah outside and showed them how to find the Big Dipper and the Little Dipper.  He explained to them that he would be able to see these same stars from where he was on the other side of the world.  He promised that each night before he went to bed, he'd look up at the stars and he'd fill those dippers up with love, hugs, and kisses for each of them:  the Big Dipper for Chelsea, and the Little Dipper for Micah.  He asked them to look for the constellations at bedtime and take out his gift and replace it with their own love, hugs, and kisses for him.

Each clear night during that deployment, we'd look outside and think of him.  Chelsea really got into it.  That Big Dipper meant everything to her.  I remember one night I sent her out to the back yard to do a quick chore.  When she didn't come right back in the house, I started to worry about her and peeked out to see what was up.  There was my little girl, standing in the middle of the back yard, eyes to the sky, and blowing kiss after kiss and hug after hug up.  I watched her "catch" kisses from the air and put them on her cheeks, and hug herself with Daddy's hugs.  I can feel tears in my eyes now as I write this.

Graduation is tomorrow, and Chelsea will be leaving home to go to a school eight hours away in the fall.  We'll go through at least two military-related separations during her four years in undergraduate school. Tonight he gave her the most special of gifts:  a pendant with the Big Dipper on it, designed to remind her that no matter where she is or where he is, they will always have each other.  He had an identical piece made into a keychain for himself, so he has that reminder as well.

Being a military family can be challenging, but it also offers an opportunity to grow relationships in special ways that strengthen bonds.  I'm so grateful for the gifts this life has given our little family, and am so proud we've served our country while maintaining such love and unity.